My Passion

It's been a while and I know you get the sense, that though I seem ok it's you that I miss. we had it good u n me made a team, no one could stop us or slow down this train headed towards our dreams, but when you left I cast my feelin' to the ocean, seemed ok to most but i was goin through da motions, lifeless being, being nothing we had dreamed of, fallen so far from da plan no one could see us, cuz "us" was no more life got to me, couldn't keep you for long couldn't make "we" be, so u see me now tryna pull you back in, missin' ingrediant like the egg to the cake they say i can have but I can't eat, you keep. yes you keep me on the track we had planned, PASSION is her name I was her man. Let her go once, wuz to young to understand that without her I'm nothin' she was moldin her man, put a fire in his eyes n pride in his heart, made a mountain a mole hill n kept his mind sharp. w/o her im a failure wit no sense of direction juz stressin makin cowardly life-changin' selections, takin da easy route n runnin from hard work layin' in deaths bed allowin doubt to lurk, da shadows they overcome me the darkness consumes my mind passion would be my light but w/o her i cannot find, a solid place to stand on this mountain to bein a man, at the mercy of the wind no longer can I prentend that I don't need her with me daily she is the being that made me, she is the reason I'm breathin' I can neva stop believin' in her my Passion, let me burn like you n if you die then we die create da casket 4 2, put us six feet under seven foot wide put on my tombstone dat in the end at least I tried, tell how it was heaven WHEN I HAD you n hell to get her back, n if you want a piece of her keep ya integrity in tact. Look her in the eye and make plain your intentions, treat her with respect n honor n make sure you always listen, dont let her voice become a burden take note of her direction she's got your interest at heart your pain is her affection. Passion my rider, my hearts desire, reunited once again just to take me higher.

Impress Yourself…

A never ending case of the F'its is clouding my mind, every day I wake up drained, tryna figure out what Im spoze to do with myself my purpose, other daily contemplation of a young adult essentially at the threshold of the rest of my life. Had a real good sit down with some close friends I've made over the past few year, people who honestly know me (a lil bit) and understand the way I think. During this heart to heart I got called out for a few things but the main one that stuck out was that I was a bullshitter…if you know me well enough you prolly know that 1) I know this and 2) that hasn't phased me in the least bit for some time now. I embrace the tag, I tell many ppl that college was my masters thesis in BS (Bull SHIT) and that should I pursue post grad work it would begin at the PhD level (but this is an entirely different article…Imma let ya'll in on that philosophy of mine later) this blog is about Who you impress, Why you impress, and When to be impressive. All this talk about purpose desires goals achievements accolades etc got me thinking about what I did that was impressive to people. Of hand I know people think I'm genuine kind a good listener generous, blah blah blah my friends gas me…for me these are things that I give all the credit in the world to my parents and GOD almighty. But what do I bring tangible to the table, because no one can eat the image of a full table…what make me impressive. Who thinks I'm impressive, and when do I impress them…For starters, when should you impress? Honestly I feel that this should be out of our control, our impressive qualities shouldn't be broadcast like a billboard for others to see, that is annoying for one and it just screams insecurity, I don't have that problem, but if You do you should consider laying low for a bit, allow people the chance to be impressed by you don't show them why your impressive. So now the question is posed, When do I impress people…Now because of the previous statement I am not going to suggest a time and place for you to turn up the "see me" button but what I will say is that there are times where we all experience the zone, the time when the stars align and God has called us to shine for the sake of His glory and that yes…we were built for the task at hand unlike any other and because of that we will be impressive. It is through hard work dedication to self and service that allows for an impressive showcase of what HE has given you…but in all things HE has given us we must give credit where it is due and also know when to get off the stage! Meaning there is a time when the shine wears off…It's good to know that so you don't end up looking like a poorly lit billboard @ night,.... yea it's there, but someone should spruce it up type of situation or the…that should have came down long ago billboard…Finally Who should we impress and this is where for me it has become quite tricky, I've gone through stages where I felt I needed to Impress my parents, then it was my teachers and church goers, then it was my friends, then it was my professors and family when I came to college…I could continue but it wasn't until recently that this became an issue. Not for the reason many people would think that oh he finally realized he couldn't impress everybody…nope, I realized I HAVE TO impress myself, I gotta start doing things that make me sit back and think "my God, MY GOD is awesome for allowing me to do that, or "dang you really outdid yourself this time" something that gives me purpose removes the mundane and allows me to focus. My homie said I may be suffering form being a genius…PLEASE I had to spell check genius to get it right. I'm no genius, I'm a bullshitter, a caring considerate manipulating intelligent, ride or die for my family, hasn't ever completed a book in college or high school for that matter for class…bullshitter. But that doesn't mean I don't have a purpose and more specifically it means that because I know this, all the accolades, high praise, kind words and phrases in the world wont satisfy me bcuz I know I ain't did Nathan…(that's "nothing" for the southern slang challenged) that has been impressive other than pull the wool down over your eyes long enough for me to figure out how to make you think I know what the hell I'm talking about…and for all those who BS this is actually a skill, it took years of practice and dedication but it is a skill which coincidentally can take you very far in life coupled with a strong pair of lips…(another blog) but ultimately I have to impress myself I cant let these professors give me A's and B's because I know that's what I was built to do in my sleep and all the praise for that goes to GOD! Seriously that GOD! I have to set new standards, so what the ppl I look up to think I'm great…I know I can do better, so what if my peers think I have these qualities…I know I can do better, I know that I haven't impressed myself and that is honestly slapping GOD in the face because though I can never impress HIM I can make HIM proud. And He wants me to be proud of what I do not ashamed of how I got by. I've been given great power, but when will I learn that it comes with greater responsibility.