Keep a Hater/Bleeding is not necessary when surgeons are present...

maaannnn u wanna talk about an epiphany...so ya boy is sittin in my car sleepy tryna thing about this assignment for my leadership class(great class) n we are suppose to think deeply about a quote by Howard Thurman (paraphrasing) dont do what you feel the world needs but rather what makes you come alive...deep right, well me in my mind went for a trip circling this idea and i discovered a few things
1. I've yet to come alive
2. most ppl are walking dead
3. as different as i think i am, i am "most pply" in most aspects
4. i have a destructive nature
so with that these are the nuggets im passing on, maybe somebody can learn from me
do not listen to friends when making decisions they can only convince you, listen to haters/doubter because they often motivate you to do great things, appreciate ya friends help and their listening to you but keep a hater close because they dont care for you and are often a true representation of the world around you
* learn to trust somebody enough for them to be able to cut you. i used to (n prolly still do) think that letting people close enough to cut you was a fools move. i mean look at all the double crossin' backstabbin ppl around u and it's prolly clear why ppl think like this, but it came to me that the very people we call on to save us have to be allowed to cut us. look at a surgeon, he/ she has credentials papers a record of success or failure but ultimately they are given the authority to cut because they've shown themselves worthy of the knife/scalpel whateva some ppl know their surgeon's well some because of circumstances dont get the pleasure of a deep relationship but nevertheless they know that without the surgeon something catastrophic could happen. In my case, i'm the guy that refuses to see the countless degrees, multiple awards, countless pictures of saved lives, big smile, calm demeanour, steady hand, etc. etc. and opt to try and stop the hemorrhaging all by myself. i dont care as well know and proficient as Ben Carson(Gifted Hands) was he'd never operate on himself under any circumstances. any kind of rejection of a capable/willing/caring soul to cut you is really a a sign of destructive behavior. For myself i'm learning that this causes me to have destructive relationships, destructive friendships, destructive mindsets and a sometimes overwhelming case of paranoia. NOT EVERYBODY IS LOOKING TO PUT A KNIFE IN YOUR BACK! some people actually by the grace of God see you bleeding profusely and say to themselves "hey, that person could use my help"...i know crazy right but its true and more importantly a lot of them want nothing in return (even crazier)

The point is children( im mainly talkin 2 myself ) is that in 1. friends are koo but haters are often gonna lead you to a calling or at least motivate cha 2. dont be the person who refuses help when bleeding at the scene of a problem...everybody is in need of a surgeon now and then dont letcha self bleed to death!