The Currency of BS. How we have failed ourselves.

This is the beginning of what I hope is somehing insightful, wonderful, entertaining, and above all life altering for myself and whoever reads this. This is or will be the culmination of a series of conversations and thought centered around my theories on BS and how it has crippled our society. These conversations and stories will hopefully point those of you who wish to know why I think the way I do to the source of my skepticism. Essentially this will be a social critique of societal norm, hangups, frustrating habits of humanity, and a humorous yet well thought out view of how we have shortchanged ourselves, fooled ourselves, numbed ourselves to the reality around us. Hopefully this more focused blog will allow me to get off my chest the things that bother me the most, fakeness, falseness in the form of BS.

My Passion

It's been a while and I know you get the sense, that though I seem ok it's you that I miss. we had it good u n me made a team, no one could stop us or slow down this train headed towards our dreams, but when you left I cast my feelin' to the ocean, seemed ok to most but i was goin through da motions, lifeless being, being nothing we had dreamed of, fallen so far from da plan no one could see us, cuz "us" was no more life got to me, couldn't keep you for long couldn't make "we" be, so u see me now tryna pull you back in, missin' ingrediant like the egg to the cake they say i can have but I can't eat, you keep. yes you keep me on the track we had planned, PASSION is her name I was her man. Let her go once, wuz to young to understand that without her I'm nothin' she was moldin her man, put a fire in his eyes n pride in his heart, made a mountain a mole hill n kept his mind sharp. w/o her im a failure wit no sense of direction juz stressin makin cowardly life-changin' selections, takin da easy route n runnin from hard work layin' in deaths bed allowin doubt to lurk, da shadows they overcome me the darkness consumes my mind passion would be my light but w/o her i cannot find, a solid place to stand on this mountain to bein a man, at the mercy of the wind no longer can I prentend that I don't need her with me daily she is the being that made me, she is the reason I'm breathin' I can neva stop believin' in her my Passion, let me burn like you n if you die then we die create da casket 4 2, put us six feet under seven foot wide put on my tombstone dat in the end at least I tried, tell how it was heaven WHEN I HAD you n hell to get her back, n if you want a piece of her keep ya integrity in tact. Look her in the eye and make plain your intentions, treat her with respect n honor n make sure you always listen, dont let her voice become a burden take note of her direction she's got your interest at heart your pain is her affection. Passion my rider, my hearts desire, reunited once again just to take me higher.

Impress Yourself…

A never ending case of the F'its is clouding my mind, every day I wake up drained, tryna figure out what Im spoze to do with myself my purpose, other daily contemplation of a young adult essentially at the threshold of the rest of my life. Had a real good sit down with some close friends I've made over the past few year, people who honestly know me (a lil bit) and understand the way I think. During this heart to heart I got called out for a few things but the main one that stuck out was that I was a bullshitter…if you know me well enough you prolly know that 1) I know this and 2) that hasn't phased me in the least bit for some time now. I embrace the tag, I tell many ppl that college was my masters thesis in BS (Bull SHIT) and that should I pursue post grad work it would begin at the PhD level (but this is an entirely different article…Imma let ya'll in on that philosophy of mine later) this blog is about Who you impress, Why you impress, and When to be impressive. All this talk about purpose desires goals achievements accolades etc got me thinking about what I did that was impressive to people. Of hand I know people think I'm genuine kind a good listener generous, blah blah blah my friends gas me…for me these are things that I give all the credit in the world to my parents and GOD almighty. But what do I bring tangible to the table, because no one can eat the image of a full table…what make me impressive. Who thinks I'm impressive, and when do I impress them…For starters, when should you impress? Honestly I feel that this should be out of our control, our impressive qualities shouldn't be broadcast like a billboard for others to see, that is annoying for one and it just screams insecurity, I don't have that problem, but if You do you should consider laying low for a bit, allow people the chance to be impressed by you don't show them why your impressive. So now the question is posed, When do I impress people…Now because of the previous statement I am not going to suggest a time and place for you to turn up the "see me" button but what I will say is that there are times where we all experience the zone, the time when the stars align and God has called us to shine for the sake of His glory and that yes…we were built for the task at hand unlike any other and because of that we will be impressive. It is through hard work dedication to self and service that allows for an impressive showcase of what HE has given you…but in all things HE has given us we must give credit where it is due and also know when to get off the stage! Meaning there is a time when the shine wears off…It's good to know that so you don't end up looking like a poorly lit billboard @ night,.... yea it's there, but someone should spruce it up type of situation or the…that should have came down long ago billboard…Finally Who should we impress and this is where for me it has become quite tricky, I've gone through stages where I felt I needed to Impress my parents, then it was my teachers and church goers, then it was my friends, then it was my professors and family when I came to college…I could continue but it wasn't until recently that this became an issue. Not for the reason many people would think that oh he finally realized he couldn't impress everybody…nope, I realized I HAVE TO impress myself, I gotta start doing things that make me sit back and think "my God, MY GOD is awesome for allowing me to do that, or "dang you really outdid yourself this time" something that gives me purpose removes the mundane and allows me to focus. My homie said I may be suffering form being a genius…PLEASE I had to spell check genius to get it right. I'm no genius, I'm a bullshitter, a caring considerate manipulating intelligent, ride or die for my family, hasn't ever completed a book in college or high school for that matter for class…bullshitter. But that doesn't mean I don't have a purpose and more specifically it means that because I know this, all the accolades, high praise, kind words and phrases in the world wont satisfy me bcuz I know I ain't did Nathan…(that's "nothing" for the southern slang challenged) that has been impressive other than pull the wool down over your eyes long enough for me to figure out how to make you think I know what the hell I'm talking about…and for all those who BS this is actually a skill, it took years of practice and dedication but it is a skill which coincidentally can take you very far in life coupled with a strong pair of lips…(another blog) but ultimately I have to impress myself I cant let these professors give me A's and B's because I know that's what I was built to do in my sleep and all the praise for that goes to GOD! Seriously that GOD! I have to set new standards, so what the ppl I look up to think I'm great…I know I can do better, so what if my peers think I have these qualities…I know I can do better, I know that I haven't impressed myself and that is honestly slapping GOD in the face because though I can never impress HIM I can make HIM proud. And He wants me to be proud of what I do not ashamed of how I got by. I've been given great power, but when will I learn that it comes with greater responsibility.

Im a pauper in prince clothing and the sad thing is knowing that if they take a closer look they could read me like a book. What did I give up to get this way where people see the facade of the man I've worked so hard not to play. I'm losing it, it's not my mind why is my own respect so hard to find. I played the game like I was told sit back n ride on someone else's bold. Then seize the opp to seize the top at their expense A pauper in prince clothing in need of exposing the truth that still exists why am I still fighting with this? Cuz the truthful life is harder than I'd ever imagined being myself in my skin makes it harder to fit in. Like all the big city ppl with shirts and ties sophisticated folks are my demise. Line em up one two three in a row I need my country roots to let my country trees grow, stretch forth like you wanna w/o no inhibitions nobody fallin in line no need for social submission.

Your Last...

Your Last... I learned some upsetting news the other day about a man who helped me during a time of much trouble. Before I get into this I wanna make sure people know I'm not tryna make something out of nothing, create a story, be funny or anything of that nature...That being said this blog is about my Mechanic Angel....I know sounds a bit out there but bear with me. Mr.Larry aka my mechanic angel as some people who know me might remember me calling him, apparently passed months ago due to cancer. Who was this man to me, initially he was a phone call, a skilled mechanic, somebody I called when I needed work done on my car. A mere exchange of funds for some kind of service...That's what he was. His story meant nothing to me at the time his actions though appreciated weren’t of significance other than the task he was jokingly, my mechanic angel simply because he did a great work on my car every time I needed it. What is he now...well quite frankly he will be a constant reminder of what Life is like when you are a free person. Mr. Larry first did work on my car after my window was busted into about a year ago around this time. A friend of the family recommended him saying he was a skilled mechanic. Upon meeting him I thought nothing about him other than can he o the work, but as we created small talk to pass the time I realized that this guy had a story behind him. The way he interacted with me and my father let me know that not only was he good at what he did , but that he loved what he did. AS he worked on the window he searched my car looking for other things that might need mending, not to pocket more money but because he noticed this was my first car, nothing special but to me it was my everything and I could tell he knew this. He wanted to make sure every part of my champagne 97 camry was in working order and that I was satisfied with the vehicle and the work. All this initially made me nervous bcuz in my head I could tally up what this all would cost me, I've heard what a broken window can put you back, now multiply that by a college student and I knew I might have to ask the popz for a small loan...Expecting a 200 bill and a swift kick in the wallet I asked how much we looking at, Mr. Larry hadn’t given a price yet. He smiled and said whatever you want to give me is fine whatever ur able to come up with will do! me and my pops looked at him like “THIS SUCKER”… well I did but pops saw him as a blessing. point is it wasn’t the money that motivated him now do i know that at the time he knew he was battling cancer...naw, but either way u can pick up on a man’s spirit by how he goes about his work, u can also tell a lot about a man by the way he conducts his business...he could a spiked da price and i would a had to pay it and he woulda had a couple extra dollars n been about his day, but the seed he planted did more for the both of us by simply seeing my need extending a helping and generous hand and cutting the price for a broke college student. what that did was 1)make it easier for me to come back if need be, 2) tell others about his business so he'd get it all back any way 3) remove the uneasiness and uncertainty around him as an individual, i got to see the man, see his spirit, connect with him on a personal level...what's the point of it all??? In a day and age when the “me first” mentality clouds our mind and we all want to get rich or die tryin'...sometimes we gotta sit back and think "while I'm getting rich, what am i robbing from the people around me" it may not be money but it very well could be the opportunity to connect, establish community, establish friendships, assist a troubled or down trotten individual, the blinders of society make it so the as we get rich the community dies tryna save itself from itself.... not tryna get preachy but I do want to motivate you to conduct your self like your dayz are winding down. Like the end may be near, like you care about the human condition, enough to sacrifice something for something else to show itself. Sometimes it may be better to sacrifice “light green” to give hope, good nature, generosity and community the “green light”…Preciate you Mr. Larry

C'Mon u Gotta Do Better (the story of Girl X)

I learn it the hard way once again...I gotta stop doin it this way.


So over sometime now I've been in limbo concerning several situations in my life mainly people in it and how much they really mean to me. There was, lets just say girl X who I keep close but she didn't mean to me what I may have meant to her...I know I'm better than that but this is an area I'm working on...anyway I kept her close because she was familiar, but thank god I had a revelation concerning my approach to situations like this...So girl X and I was kicking it and nun too much a lil movie n a few drinks, nun special then it hit me 1. I'm too old for this or at least I know better than this, I realized the time she's investing in me is not worth ma time, not sayin im better than anybody but when u can look into a girls eyes and see she see's her ticket outta all the drama, hurt n pain she been thru instead of a parter a friend, it's time to seek companionship elsewhere, pops told me (always gonna refer to pop wisest men i know) that women sometimes will see the God in you b4 they ever see you, and that being said never become a woman's savior because you will only let her down...as she looked me in the eye, drinkin' my drinks, watchin; my cable, on my couch, in my house, lol goin to far but u feel me, i saw it was the God in me she wanted company with, not me, her life was tattered we both knew it, i was the guy she could be comfortable around, chill with, not have to be sexy around, not have to be on guard about, not have to worry if i was tryna get in her pants....and then it hit me, i def was tryna get in her pants and that bothered me to my core because that had never been me, i never wanted that for myself but time and really idle time allowed my mind to go there with someone who i at one point cared about enough to fight for...another revelation hit me, i was becoming the man i never wanted to be all because i was putting girl Y on the backburner (i'll explain later) she saw me as savior and i saw her as a decent time...both of us just using each other selfishly not really caring about the other in the least bit. both smiling like we were having a good time but in reallity we were escaping (for that moment in time) the hell we had created for ourselves, she created hell via bad relationship experiences in which she put too much in guys laps (literally and figuratively) and me by not accepting the love and affection of girl Y bcuz i'm still young n dumb and full of myself...It was by the grace of God that I came to my senses and built up enough intestinal fortitude to take her home and not fall into the traps of a bored wanna be bachelor. I had to go to God on this one bcuz all i have is my name in this earth and the funny thing is im not the one who can proclaim it, it is other people who must testify about my name, all i do is work hard to create a good case for it. I use to think it was only the popular and powerful people who could make or break me, but in all honesty, it's the people you look through who you encounter and behave wreckless about that can bring you down because they are the ones (at least in by life) that the part of you you dont want others to see comes out...Look at it like this when your name is called into judgement, it won't be your friends the "prosecution" calls to the stand, it will be the people u didnt try to butter up, but instead stepped on them to satisfy ur own selfish needs...C'mon (David) U gotta do better!

The Other Hell...are You Living in It???

Me and a Good friend of mine were riding around in the car having a heart to heart all out slugfest describing why we werent where we wanted to be as far as life plans, academics, relationships etc. me n this brotha -a - mine dnt see eye to eye on much and a lot of the time we disagree just to disagree (well I can only speak for myself) but this brotha dropped some knowledge i had to dump off in hopes someone grasps it better than me and does something with it...Hell Is When God Starts Showing You All The Things You Could Have Done But You Didnt...how profound is that when I heard it my heart sank my mouth was left open and my mind drifted to various scenarios where I played it safe, played it conservative, took minimal risk only to grasp minimal gains...I'm floored right now cuz at 22 I feel like a part of me is in hell and the sad part about it all is that once you start dwelling in this new hell the heat becomes bearable at times and a part of you is lost forever...How bout love for starters by playing it safe you take away the opportunity of someone else really getting to know you bcuz you were just focused on what you were doin and not what they could bring to the table, playing it safe in this regard is quite selfish and leads to missed opportuniies on lessons learned about yourself and others...2. Business and life opportunities are the most obvious to me Look at super sucessful ppl like Trump, Jordan, Gates, etc. These men took Big Risks and ultimately saw Great Rewards...Life is soooo based on reciprocity balance giving and getting karma what have you bottom line is you get in what you put out...and many times what you give may at the time be bigger than you're comfortable with or ready for but you have to be able to do this (im learning), if you want anything of substance, sacrificing the comfortable for a possible transformative experience...Mike Jordan wanted the ball in the final seconds and didnt shy from it and now not only is he known as one of the greatest players of all time but as one of the most clutch performers in sports history "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. Michael Jordan " all of this failure is seldom brought to the forefront of any conversation concerning "His Airness" We all know Bill Gates didnt finish the social pinnacle that we know as COLLEGE deciding to put all his marbles in Microsoft...needless to say that though it may have been gutsy at the time...it was a good move, what qualifies a good move. I believe intution is key but there has to be a determination to make it work, a common theme among ppl like this is their level of determination, their drive, their relentless prusuit of their end goals, but most importantly their perspective on failure is different from most people. These ppl get that as my father used to tell me before basketball games "You miss 100% of the shots you dont take" needless to saw I got a rep for being a ball hog but whatever this lesson has to be applied in the type of world we live in today, you cant walk around afraid to miss shots, afraid of the pressure afraid of the bad that comes with expectations, The shot we dont take now could be the hell we wake up to tomorrow. clutch performers in life thrive on the pressure because of two reasons 1. The have prepped for the situation and are ready to execute the hours of preparation and 2. after all that prep they still realize that at the end of the day their are only two outcomes and no one can say that they've experienced only the positives in life "Without Struggle there is no progress" " failure to try is trying for failure" blah blah blah... "You get the point...but you only get it if you take the shot"...

The Ability of Love...

Love is not a feeling, its an ability, watching this movie "Dan In Real Life", i stumbled on this quote an it got me to thinking. All my life I've heard ppl use Love as an emotion ( a: the affective aspect of consciousness : feeling b: a state of feeling c: a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body...does this even sound like real love, not that I am an exert in this area, but for a long time I've said and other ppl who know me have said I've been running from it for some time now, afraid of commitment, afraid of this connection that what other ppl are suppose to have when they "just know" c'mon ppl this doesn't make sense...a strong sense dedicated to an object since when does objectification sound like love, Lemme throw my own definition out there...yea its an ability, the ability to withstand and overcome obstacles that come in the way of a comittment to someone but its coupled with agility is the ability to change the body's position, and requires a combination of balance, coordination, speed, strength, endurance,and stamina. why agility? bcuz in my opinion it encompasses all necessary aspects of a strong relationship, balance, the foundation of the relationship enables both sides to show compassion and understanding during conflict, Coordination...making different people or things work together for a goal or effect. hence the compromise for the goal, speed is fueled by the desire to resolve conflict bcuz it does not help the end goal. it requires the strength to carry the load sometimes when the other is down and out in need of support, and an endurance that is showcased everyday when surrounded by a world that doesn't get or want love and will do anything to tear it down....I said all this to say that love cant be an emotion because those change, it is in my opinion a habit of practice, showing itself not just to a significant other but also to man kind, by showing love toward mankind you exercise this ability, you work it out, you see how far you really are, how selfish you really are and far you have to go or even want to go...We have to stop looking at it like a feeling and more like a journey with no destination, how different would we act if we couldn't tell if somebody loved us back but rather loved because it was right to do...treating love like law and hate like the infraction of moral/ civil law that it is...we cant keep preying on others emotions to try and evoke love, i think we just have to practice it, knowing that it strengthens our one God given ability that He has commanded of us...

Hip Hop Studies Conference and I'm Lost...

I'm struggling with this concept of society as a church or body of believers, strugglin wit the idea of the hip hop choir working thru this panel thing...all in all I think imma be able to beast it...

Now lets get to it...
I was working in ma yard cutting grass cuz it takes no time now considering where i came from cutting grass as a kid...(i know stay focused) n e way as i was cuttin this grass i was drawn back to a convo i had wit momz talking about responsibilities, family and obligations to friends n fam and i thought n asked my self why do i let everybody put stuff on me n i dnt even try to put anything on anybody. Imean really i said to myself i do what i do cuz i wouldn't wanna put anybody else thru what i put myself thru, i mean i empathize to the point i might go crazy, if i knw you i knw that whatever problem you're having, it's gonna eventually be my problem, not because it's my business to solve all life's problems but every time sum cumz up i say to myself what would i want somebody to do if i was in that type of situation....its soooo stressful though cuz all this burden is never released, all my life i've felt the need tbe the bridge, carry da burden, etc...n i neva found a way to release it, man dis is cazy cuz im not able to handle me own stuff and in some cases i just end up lettin everybody fall....i dont think there are any lessons to learn from me from this one other than
1. get cha self right or face a heavy life
2. you cant save everybody nor should you want to...
3.you gotta find a balance in order to truly succeed, when learning on compassion it was put best as enduring with the other or your pain afflicts me...so to a point those in close encounters with you should weigh on you but you gotta realize that some weight is your weight and some weight is theirs you cant carry everybody anytime or somebody all the time...

imma post sum real, real soon until then my Hawks need to stop playing like pigeons n get tuff...dwade is nice but his team isnt get outta the first round nice...Now You Know!

Drake, Influence and Richard Simmons

I Dont Like Drake...yet?

I know alot a people on this dude and by everything i've heard of him i gotta admit he has talent but just with any new phenom I'm a slight skeptic. Maybe its the degrassi thing maybe it's his flow sounds ridiculously similiar to wayne or maybe cuz nobody is just not feelin him and i'm tryna be different. But on sum real I'm not on em because of what went down in a college class room when discussing afro american males who shape the image of african american males...Somebody please tell me why in a class full of grown men, some ignant thats right IGNANT clown decides to throw his name in the bunch along side a Obama and Mike Jordan and Mike Steele or anybody with a real imprint on the shape of African American manhood...let me explain my professor who stays controversial came in class and asked us to pick 5 blk men (LIVING) who are the most influential to shaping the blk male image. In my mind I'm thinking awww Morehouse here we will separate ourselves from the rest of the crop here we will show a diversity of knowledge....WHAMP WHAMP these sorry clowns had the audacity to pick the following Barack...ok a given...Jay-Z...ok i stopped wearing throwbacks....this is where it gets depressing the next 3 all entertainers Will Smith, U GOTZ 2 BE KIDDIN ME....LIL WAYNE, he def didnt influence me to do NATHAN...and DUM DUM DUM and I really mean DUMB DUMB DUMB SOULJA BOY....How ignorant is that, i had to plea with the crowd to take this Drake character off the list with strong opposition backed by "he hot right now" GOT DANG...have we fallen that far where "hot right now shapes our image, where was Mike Steele (dont agree wit em I'm just saying) where was an athlete, Not to be that guy but c'mon blk ppl we do put out sum athletes...No Jordan, Lebron, Kobe....no Public intellectuals Dyson, West etc....no politicians apart from Obama, C'MON and they where really fightin to keep Drake on this list! I give up...in a class full of freshman I realized that the future sux if im spose to be influenced by Soulja Boy Tell 'em, what da hell has he told me other than supaman a ho n Yuuuulllleeee on a ho. I'm sorry soulja boy what if i dont keep "ho's" in my company then what do I do, and when you gonna finally tell em so u can sit ya ass down....now to be fair I've Yuled, Supermaned, Cranked it and attempted to Birdwalk, but all these things in the privacy of my home or amongst tight friends, and it's not to say i dont want this brotha to be a success. I sincerely do, I want all Whack rappers to succeed, think on it would you want to see Professor Soulja Boy Tell 'em or Dr. Soulja Boy Tell 'em or have this guy doin ya taxes or hell even pumpin ya gas...no keep whack rappers in the industry cuz...where da hell else they gon go?) but back to the issue Why are our young blk men picking soulja boy as an influential person in shaping tthe image of blk men...if we read books ohhh the power...(shouts out to Dr. Fluker) we would have a diverse perspective on influential leaders, the saddest thing about this is that in all his classes this list was the SAME we talkin at least 100 blk men agreed, thats enough to make a educated guess on what the population on campus is saying..this has gotta stop, n At Morehouse 2 King n Mays is pissed right now....n Drake I might feel ya if you didnt sound southern with an Ontario drivers license.

what did we learn today chillen's
1. I dont hate Drake, just his hype
2. support whack rappers or they will teach your kids, pump your gas, do your taxes and attempt and prolly fail at being productive members of society...
3. READ A BOOK
4. I've Cranked It...and I did like it a bit
5.Soulja Boy is the Hip Hop version of Richard Simmons (The original Hip Hop as workout)
6.Will Smith...C'Mon at least Denzel can play a believable bad guy, have u even played one or not been asexualized in a movie (i'll prolly explain later)
7.We do have some athletes blk ppl lets not act as if this aint so we can jump out da gym
8. Lets Go HAWKS, yea Imma real fan
9. IGNANT = Ignorant
10. Nathan=nothing

Imma get on this more consistantly my mind is always at work...

Keep a Hater/Bleeding is not necessary when surgeons are present...

maaannnn u wanna talk about an epiphany...so ya boy is sittin in my car sleepy tryna thing about this assignment for my leadership class(great class) n we are suppose to think deeply about a quote by Howard Thurman (paraphrasing) dont do what you feel the world needs but rather what makes you come alive...deep right, well me in my mind went for a trip circling this idea and i discovered a few things
1. I've yet to come alive
2. most ppl are walking dead
3. as different as i think i am, i am "most pply" in most aspects
4. i have a destructive nature
so with that these are the nuggets im passing on, maybe somebody can learn from me
do not listen to friends when making decisions they can only convince you, listen to haters/doubter because they often motivate you to do great things, appreciate ya friends help and their listening to you but keep a hater close because they dont care for you and are often a true representation of the world around you
* learn to trust somebody enough for them to be able to cut you. i used to (n prolly still do) think that letting people close enough to cut you was a fools move. i mean look at all the double crossin' backstabbin ppl around u and it's prolly clear why ppl think like this, but it came to me that the very people we call on to save us have to be allowed to cut us. look at a surgeon, he/ she has credentials papers a record of success or failure but ultimately they are given the authority to cut because they've shown themselves worthy of the knife/scalpel whateva some ppl know their surgeon's well some because of circumstances dont get the pleasure of a deep relationship but nevertheless they know that without the surgeon something catastrophic could happen. In my case, i'm the guy that refuses to see the countless degrees, multiple awards, countless pictures of saved lives, big smile, calm demeanour, steady hand, etc. etc. and opt to try and stop the hemorrhaging all by myself. i dont care as well know and proficient as Ben Carson(Gifted Hands) was he'd never operate on himself under any circumstances. any kind of rejection of a capable/willing/caring soul to cut you is really a a sign of destructive behavior. For myself i'm learning that this causes me to have destructive relationships, destructive friendships, destructive mindsets and a sometimes overwhelming case of paranoia. NOT EVERYBODY IS LOOKING TO PUT A KNIFE IN YOUR BACK! some people actually by the grace of God see you bleeding profusely and say to themselves "hey, that person could use my help"...i know crazy right but its true and more importantly a lot of them want nothing in return (even crazier)

The point is children( im mainly talkin 2 myself ) is that in 1. friends are koo but haters are often gonna lead you to a calling or at least motivate cha 2. dont be the person who refuses help when bleeding at the scene of a problem...everybody is in need of a surgeon now and then dont letcha self bleed to death!

Firsts...

ahh First Blog, shouts out to sosiaplay for puttin me on to this, one of the realest in it you should check his page out to get some insight on the mind of a real hustler. To be real with ya'll (as if its some ppl out there anticipating this right now) this is gonna be somewhat of an experiment for me to try and keep myself occupied keep me writing, shooooo even keep me posted on whats goin on in ma head by just puttin it out there. i might throw out a few observations mispell a few words entertain educate enlighten etc. u get the picture. seriously though everybody keeps tellin me I sould write what i think and say so this is my avenue, sum will learn that there is a wall between your thoughts and your words that comes up missing when i talk sometimes. sum of ya'll already know this about me regardless of whatchu know this blog will be me...I'm tellin ya'll "you can be so very beautiful When you are who you are" Gil Scott Heron. so wit that imma be who i am here.

n I'm Dun 4 now...